Intro

Hi
Thought it would be a good idea to post my experiences with EMDR. My counselor, I'll call her Mary-Ann, because it's dumb. I'll refer to my ex-partner as Ginger.
Please note that I write to make myself laugh so it may come across as me being immature and fruity. It's one of the sides of my self that I enjoy.
What brought me to EMDR is a long path. My story is that I was brought up in a dysfunctional family. My father was an alcoholic who abused my sister and mother. I don't have any memories of being physically abuse but the emotional stuff is all there. I saw alot of ugly things in my house growing up. Profanity was our native language, violence was how we expressed ourselves. My parents separated and divorced when I was six so most of the heavy duty damage was done before and around this time.
Growing up my boundaries were backwards. I kept the sickness of my family and kept everybody out. I moved alot, doing the "my parents are divorced" shuffle. Because of my walls and the fact that I changed school at least once a year I never had more than one close friend until I was in my late teens and found other kids/adults who suffered from the same sort of upbringing.
Of course alcohol and drugs were my friends. I started drinking my mother's wine when I was 12 . By the time I was 23 I had to be drunk, on heroin and stoned to feel content. When I hit the bottom of my using I was unemployed, in an apt. without rent, utilities and food. I also had alot of legal trouble including felony charges. Motivated by those factors I signed into a detox, then was shipped off to a 30 day in house program. I graduated and moved into a 90 day halfway house. I worked hard at these places to stay sober and to get my demons out. I spoke in group, with counselors and at A.A. meetings.
Back in the real world I stayed sober but wasn't really happy. I was relieved that alot of my drug and material related problems went away. I had an apt. a job, material possessions, food and cats. After 2 years of sobriety I stopped going to A.A. I thought the old men were a bunch of assholes and heard too much whining.
Ginger, was an ex girlfriend and one of my best friends. While I was getting sober she got pregnant by some guy. When the baby (call him John) was about 18 months old, Ginger had a falling out with her family and needed a place for her and John to live. I was lonely and let them stay in my studio apt.
Fast Foward - Ginger and I had a son together (call him Mike). We went to college and graduated. We were both HS dropouts, we got better jobs, got married and bought a house.
Sparing the drama- the marriage starting falling apart. I hit a point where I was 2 nano-seconds for having a drink. So Iwent back to A.A. This time I took it more seriously. I did have one of the spiritual awakenings. I was quite dramatic with lights and external proof and all that. From that day I have been praying and meditating daily. Things got bad at home after that and Ginger left me with our son and my stepson.
I entered counseling with Mary-Ann.